This week I’ve focused on the righteous non-smokers (not to be confused with us mere non-smokers), the “new” Ely market square that’s sure to look old and the junk we women are intimidated into buying in our never-ending search for youth!

Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

Image: Ely French Market

Not only do I not smoke, I’ve never smoked, ever!

Now, having made such a logical and healthy life choice wouldn’t you think I’d be one of the loudest advocates of the 100 % smoking ban in public? That I would want all smoking in all places stubbed out? That I would campaign furiously to rid the entire world of the evils of cigarettes?
Well, you’d be wrong.

I’ve never felt victimised by someone who has decided to smoke.

Since I’ve never been trapped in a pub, club or restaurant nor forced to sit in the smoking section of any of these public places, I’ve never felt victimised by someone who has decided to smoke.

And should I enter an establishment that seems a little too hazy with cigarette emissions for my delicate nature, I simply leave. No accosting, no ranting and raving about the ozone layer – oh wait, that’s air pollution. No feigning offence at a fellow diner’s idea of relaxation and I don’t feel the need to preach the horrors of secondary smoke inhalation. Similarly, I don’t bore fellow patrons stupid with lectures about alcohol abuse or binge drinking. I don’t feel the need to chastise their dress sense, their choice of vehicles or their predilection for fat women or bald men!

In short, non-smokers, get over yourselves! Find a park to sit in and picnic til the cows come home. Frequent the library and take a flask! If you don’t like the atmosphere, stay home!

The world doesn’t have to be cleansed of all things unhealthy, unpleasant or just down-right daft in order for the righteous to survive – hell, if that were the case we’d be a few politicians short of a cabinet, eh?

A New Old Market For Ely

I see the Ely market square is to get a face lift. Anyone want to wager on the “new” design being a return to the old design? What are the chances that the radical plans involve turning the clock back and giving the market square an “old” new look?
It never fails; the up to date, modern innovative designs are inevitably a blot on the landscape requiring a return to traditional architecture and time-honoured look to bring back the beauty! How about in future, we just clean up and repair the old stuff instead of tearing it down!

Getting Old Is Expensive

Image: Ely French Market

Is it any wonder that the average female finds herself in despair over constantly battling (and losing to) wrinkles, a big butt and less than lustrous hair?

Within half an hour of television viewing we’re bombarded with enough products to ensure we glisten, gleam and glow for all time. Millions of pounds are spent each year by women in their chase for eternal youth. Just a little aside here… the adverts that crack me up most are the ones that sell a product where time runs out on its performance.

Is it any wonder we gals have trouble realistically identifying ourselves these days?

You know, the foundation that lasts for up to twelve hours (meaning only for botox users), long lasting lipstick that stays put all day (for those who don’t talk, eat or move their lips), tear proof mascara that doesn’t smudge (and requires lighter fluid to remove!) I always think, come midnight these broads are going to look as though they’ve been in a train wreck when their make-up expires! The other advert absurdity is when the superstar promoting a particular shampoo clearly has hair extensions. How does she know what it takes to make it look good – it’s not her hair!

Anyway, is it any wonder we gals have trouble realistically identifying ourselves these days? We are constantly promised that if we use this shampoo we’ll have hair like Jennifer Pittless. If we use that body lotion we could have skin like Elle McFatremoved! Or the use of this foundation will give you the skin of that ten year old model posing as a full-grown adult. And we fall for it.

Yet, despite buying the firming glop, washing our hair in the shampoo that smells like a green grocer, spending a fortune on the new and improved foundation, we still look like middle-aged, ordinary, run-of-the-mill women. And we still fall for it.

However, the celebrity spokesperson spends upwards of £240,000.00 on birthday parties for their dogs’ surgical enhancements are as common to them as buying a pair of sandals.

What the advertisers fail to tell us is that prior to the commercial these icons of beauty have probably had a snip, nip, tuck and fake tan procedure at the weekend! We’d be lucky if the garbage available to us over the counter makes us look as good as their pooches!

Original Comments on this article:

Lee B says:
Tuesday 28 Jun, 2005 at 1:06 pm
Can’t agree I’m afraid Anne, and I smoke. Lets face it smoking, even passively can lead to cancer and other horrors. There is nothing to stop us smokers popping outside for a quick fix, I do that at home. The rights and comforts of non-smokers have to come first in this debate.

Anne DeBondt says:
Thursday 23 Jun, 2005 at 4:54 pm
… Yeah, but does the entire world have to be smoke free to keep you from the nasty habit? I dare say not!
And does this mean we are soon to suffer the ridiculousness of booze-free pubs, food-free restaurants, a toy-free Woolworths?
While ciggies, cigars and pipes are legally for sale, we should be able to choose for ourselves, what with us being adult and all!

Martin says:
Tuesday 21 Jun, 2005 at 9:47 pm
Hmmm. I gave up smoking a few months ago and kind of like the idea of no-smoking pubs, it would considerably reduce the chance of me having a puff.

Karl Bedingfield says:
Tuesday 21 Jun, 2005 at 8:06 pm
I too never smoked, ever and don’t really understand this hysteria about banning smoking in public places. Considering the amount of pollution pumped into the air everyday by automobiles surely we are more at risk just walking down the street.

Another thing that make me irascible are lifelong smokers who decide to sue the tobacco companies. Christ, you don’t see me suing record companies for the amount of records I have purchased over the years. ‘That’s not an addiction I here you cry!’ – wanna bet!

0 replies

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.