Stranger Than Fiction – Because the news is unbelievable.
Pasty-faced Dave Twitcher was the original climate hero. Along with his wife and three children, the 33 year old New Port Biology teacher became the first 'client' of the US government's environmental scheme called We're Taking Your House Friend - Breath Easy. WTF as it was shortened to, was launched to great fanfare, seven years ago, when the head of the Department of Homeland Climate Disaster and Apocalyptic Threats Management, DHCDATM, General Hugh G Wanger, dramatically broke the news: 'We are fighting a new invisible enemy, an invisible, pervasive, terrifying, invisible, boogie man, who lives for generation after generation. An enemy which you can't see, with your eyes, but which is all around you. An enemy without morals...without values we understand...at all... an enemy so terrifying and all-powerful that you don't actually realise how frightened you are until it has left you for dead... and it's called...', Wanger had paused and the TV audience of billions around the world had held their breath as he delivered the bombshell: 'AIR'. The 'War on Air' had begun. 'It's the air or us' said Wanger as he went on to confess covert operations had been going on for some years. 'We've been spraying the air for years', said Wanger,' from the air. We've hurt it, but now it's time to move boots in on the ground.'
Taking the fight to the air. The familiar sight of deadly chemical trails, doing their bit.
7 years into the War and seven since the first Breathe Easy home, WTF were holding an open day in the conference facilities of their Washington headquarters, celebrating the success of the campaign. Various key players were there answering questions, but it was the original 'climate hero' who I wanted to meet. Dave Twitcher and his family had queued up and been the first people to adopt the scheme where families gave their homes to the government under their innovative programme. Breathe Easy is a lifelong, landlord/tenant arrangement which includes a government commitment to a low carbon house conversion and signs up the client to a supervised, low-carbon lifestyle. The lifestyle commitment was big. To reduce CO2 emissions the families had to give up the 'old world lifestyle' and lead lives of minimal movement with low energy diets and shallow breathing programmes, with the aim, ultimately, of reducing their C02 emissions to zero. An ever increasing number of WTF special homes sprang up across the country as the scheme caught on. 'Climate heroes', began to be spoken of in hushed tones, as the casualties among them began to mount. People were making the ultimate sacrifice. The Climate Heroes charity has rapidly grown to be one of the largest in the U.S today.
John Holdren, US Science Czar. ''The population at large could be sterilized by infertility drugs intentionally put into the nation's drinking water or in food''
'The number of deaths has been large in one sense' says Twitcher, ' but that's what it's all about, in another. The War on Air was never going to be a complete breeze. There's a thin line between, just barely breathing and not breathing at all. Their sacrifice is an inspiration to everyone. They didn't die in vain, because when you're dead, you don't give out any CO2 at all after a few days. It's a win-win.' explains a pallid, but bright-eyed Twitcher. He has survived but his wife and children have not and I wondered how he felt about still being alive himself. 'I live with the guilt every day', he says wistfully, 'if I could just stop breathing now, I would, but I'm commited to my programme and I'll continue fighting this war.. Yes, I'd like them back, but would that really benefit the planet now? I'm doing this for, well, not for my children's children obviously, but for other people's children's children. Population is one of the greatest challenges that faces man after air. Everywhere you go you see people. People here, people there. In the street and in houses; in cars, in parks and in schools; everywhere. Let alone Africa and South America for example, where, not being funny, but they teem like flies and they're breeding all the time. All these people are breathing, pumping CO2 into the air, and, like a cancer, they are spreading. Population is a curse and a big part of the problem that man faces.'
Bill Gates at the TED2010 conference. 'The ultimate goal ? Zero carbon emissions by 2050''
Some criticised the WTF scheme when it was first introduced, saying that it is was nothing more than a murderous property grab by the government, but these days, as the death toll and serious health issues of the climate heroes increases, there are fewer and fewer voices of dissent willing to speak out, in fear of the public backlash.
'People are much less willing to question the scheme as it's gone on. I had all sorts of correspondence from ''flat-earthers'' in the early days' says Dave, with a knowing smile. 'Conspiracy theorists would send me ridiculous letters saying things like ''Get out, our government is murdering you!'' and ''Don't give those bastards your house, you idiot''. Some even said it was like a Nazi extermination programme, but they just died off' reflects Dave. Indeed, literally. Several of the most outspoken opponents of the scheme early on, actually ended up taking their own lives in unconnected acts of contrition. Leading Pro-air campaigner, Rep.Bill Lung most famously leaving the simple suicide note on his desk, which sent a message to the whole pro-air movement. ''Sorry. Everything I said was wrong about air. It's awful. Goodbye. Bill''. 'He fell on his sword,' reflects Twitcher, ' while it's sad, it had to come to that, he ended up being a man and doing the right thing. The fact that the public enquiry showed he'd shot himself forty eight times in the head after hanging himself from a church clock for an hour, just shows you how determined he was to do his bit in the end'.
So seven years on, how does the original 'Climate hero' reflect on the project as a whole, and how does he see his future. 'Yes, the government took my house; yes, I've lost my wife and children to starvation; yes, I've lost most of my muscle mass and have no quality of life whatsoever, but has it been worth it? Hell yeh! The future? I'll keep fighting until I reach my ultimate target of zero C02 emissions. When I get there, nothing else will matter.'
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