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by Johnny Glover
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IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!!

Coming soon.......Colly in Your Mailbox! Yes Cauliflower Drove is now available via a purpose-created mailing list. Have each and every episode mailed directly to your mailbox rather then having to access it here within Ely On-Line. Make life easy.... get Colly in your mailbox by sending an e-mail to collymail@ely.org.uk

Episode 85 - "Yes.....Still in The Skaters Run" (May 19th 1998 4.15pm)

As a very pedestrian FA Cup Final moved into its last half an hour, the regulars of the Skaters Run began to grow more vocal. Johnny Swift continued to shout encouragement from behind the bar and Graham Trent occasionally gave an intense 'Gooonners !' from behind his ever-present pint of lager.

Yaxley had begun to lose interest in the match. With him, expectation was part of the game, and time and time again he had been let down by the actual match. He whispered into Cedric Morgan's ear and the two men sat down at a table in the corner, which was vacant, as it gave no clear view of the television. 'So, How can I help you then Farcett ?' Yaxley paused. He still wasn't sure of the level of Morgan's involvement in all this. 'Just as a matter of thoroughness, I'd like to ask you where you were yesterday morning at eight o'clock'. Morgan rubbed his chin and gazed at the nicotine stained ceiling. Soon to be a thing of history - the stained ceiling. With the continued outlawing of cigarettes, the smoky bars, brown fingers of sixty a day men and lung rattling coughs would be consigned to the history books. 'Eight o'clock ? The time Dixon was murdered ? I was travelling back from London. We'd been debating the genetics bill until two in the morning, so I had a sleep in my flat before coming up on the early train. I like to do my surgeries on a Friday so I've got the weekend free'. 'So you were actually on the train at that time ?' 'Yes...Just about passing Bishop Stortford I should think...Why ? Surely you don't suspect me Detective ?' Yaxley took a sip from his pint and eyed the older man. As with any politician he was supremely confident. No hint of self-doubt. No question of being in the wrong. As Billy Connolly once said; 'The very fact that someone wants to be a politician should bar them from being one' 'Did you go straight to your surgery or to your house ?' asked Yaxley, ignoring the fact that Morgan had sounded rather irritated by his initial question. 'No. I didn't go home. There didn't seem much point. In fact I got off at Ealham station and went for breakfast at the Swan Hotel opposite the Cathedral for a meeting with my accountant'. Yaxley took out a notepad to jot this down. As he was fully aware that Morgan was involved he thought it worth letting the man know that he had an inkling. He scribbled down what Morgan had already told him and asked who his accountant was. 'Clive Lancaster. Of 'Bugg, Milton and Creech'. Excellent man. Top drawer. I've been using him for a few years now. To be honest he isn't really recognised at the firm. They made him a full partner but won't use his name. It's always been 'Bugg, Milton and Creech' and that's the way it'll stay apparently'

Yaxley nodded and smiled as Morgan was no doubt unaware of the previous days fiasco with the pigs. He noted all the information diligently and said, 'And you've a railway ticket to back up your story ?' At this Morgan reddened and his Welsh accent became more pronounced as he bridled at the inflection in Yaxley's question. 'Story ! Story ! Are you implying that what I have said is a fiction? Because if you are I'd like to tell you that  I know the Chief Inspector in Cambridge. I won't be crossed in this way !' Farcett's pencil hovered above the notepad as he waited for Morgan to regain his composure. He was far more likely to get the truth from him if he was angry and off his guard. '....and the ticket ?' pressed Yaxley again. 'It's a season ticket if you must bloody know' boomed Morgan. 'I'm backwards and forwards all the time so I just buy a yearly season ticket'.
'So it wasn't stamped then'
'No'
'So you have no proof of where you were at Eight o'clock yesterday morning then...unless you have a witness that can place you on the train at that time' Morgan drained the last of his pint and stared at Yaxley. 'I don't like your tone. I don't like you. I don't like that fact that you're associating with my daughter. I don't like the way you dress and I don't think I like wasting my time being accused of murder ! He stood up looked at his watch 'I've got to go. I've a reception to go to at The Guildhall in Cambridge tonight'. He strode from the Skaters Run as there was a huge cheer as Arsenal's second goal went in. Morgan paused by the back door and shouted back at Farcett, 'Expect a phone call from the Chief Inspector !'. And he was gone.

The prologue - Episode One -  Episode 2 - Episode 3 - Episode 4 -  Episode 5 - Episode 6 - Episode 7 -  Episode 8 -  Episode 9 - Episode 10 - Episode 11- Episode 12 - Episode 13 - Episode 14 - Episode 15 - Episode 16 - Episode 17 - Episode 18 - Episode 19 - Episode 20 - Episode 21 - Episode 22 -  Episode 23 - Episode 24 -  Episode 25 - Episode 26 -  Episode 27 - Episode 28 - Episode 29 - Episode 30 - Episode 31 - Episode 32 - Episode 33 - Episode 34 - Episode 35 - Episode 36 - Episode 37 - Episode 38 - Episode 39 - Episode 40 - Episode 41 - Episode 42 - Episode 43 - Episode 44 - Episode 45 - Episode 46 - Episode 47 -  Episode 48 - Episode 49 - Episode 50 - Episode 51 - Episode 52 - Episode 53 - Episode 54 - Episode 55 - Episode 56 - Episode 57 -  Episode 58 - Episode 59 - Episode 60 - Episode 61 - Episode 62 - Episode 63 - Episode 64 - Episode 65 - Episode 66 - Episode 67 - Episode 68 - Episode 69 -  Episode 70 -  Episode 71 - Episode 72 -  Episode 73 -  Episode 74 -  Episode 75 - Episode 76 -  Episode 77 - Episode 78 - Episode 79 - Episode 80 - Episode 81 - Episode 82 - Episode 83 -  Episode 84 - Episode 86 - Cast List - 'Did you see the wrist watch in Ben Hur' ?- The Colly Continuity Page.

Comments to drove@ely.org.uk

Hugh, exiled fenman from King's Lynn says "Hev you ever thought about running a bus trip to see where "collie" is made like they do for Last Of the Summer Wine, Emmerdale, Corrie and the like. Could be a laugh!!!!!"

Who Dunnit? Your suggestions Please.

Mike Northfield says "Oi reckons that there was one of those there freaky weather thingies that frew that there pitch fork 'ard enough t' stab 'im and cause serious illness such as death thats wot i fink......." - So Mike reckons the freak fen blow caused poor Reg's death.

DG says "I did you this time!!!!!!! Shame I hadn't pushed you harder in 1966!!!!!! Shame Nursy Broadhead saved you?????????????????" - after he sent this message they locked him up again!

MG says "I reckon it were suicide. You see, Reg was quite obviously a bit iron hoof or POOF as we call 'em, and in them there days, well it wer'nt propper wus it?

James Brown says "I suspect a fallen pitchfork from one of the overhead helicopters ferrying a local farmer to the office of KLFM for one of their match reports on a Lynn home game."

World Leader reckons "I think that Monica woman did it. Damn girl never could keep her mouth shut. And she was always letting things drop". Yours World Leader