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by Johnny Glover
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IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!!

Coming soon.......Colly in Your Mailbox! Yes Cauliflower Drove is now available via a purpose-created mailing list. Have each and every episode mailed directly to your mailbox rather then having to access it here within Ely On-Line. Make life easy.... get Colly in your mailbox by sending an e-mail to collymail@ely.org.uk

Episode 83 - "Viva Las Vagueness" (May 19th 1998 3.50)

Yaxley Farcett and Brian Worthington walked back into the bar of The Skaters Run. As the door swung to a close behind Brian, it was swiftly reopened by the imposing figure of local MP and Father of Fiona, Cedric Morgan. He was the kind of character that made an impression when he walked into a room: six foot three inches tall, a deep penetrating voice and a forceful nature to match, all made him either admired or loathed among the residents of Barnham. His first adventures in politics when he arrived in the Fens in the sixties were met with suspicion. He was seen to be using the area as a platform for his greater ambitions. But as the years had passed he had stayed in the village even though his career had led him from Cambridge to Westminster. Still retaining his broad sing-song Welsh accent but less hirsute than in his youth, Morgan now sported the famed comb over, made famous by Sir Bobby Charlton. So, to the locals, his appearance in morganThe Skaters was alternately greeted by a firm handshake and 'Good to see you again Cedric' or 'Oh god, here comes the bald Welsh big-head' depending on which side of the political canyon you were.

In contrast to Graham Trent's aggressive nature which would leave anyone to think him guilty of anything, Morgan was permanently 'at work', his politicians instinct always to the fore. He had recently weathered a storm when it was alleged that he had co-written an article on Genetic Engineering with local campaigner Monica Le W'Inski, which would have had a significant impact on local farmers. When questioned at an open meeting in Ealham he snarled 'I did not, repeat not, have textual relations with that woman'. Morgan strode to the bar and was surprised to see his daughter in the corner sitting on a stool next to Fred Ricketts, who had now regained his composure over the upset of having to put his dog out of it's misery after having been poisoned the previous night. He nodded to Fred and gave his daughter a peck on the cheek before saying, 'And what brings you to this den of iniquity on a sunny cup final afternoon, Fiona ?' The girl gestured toward Yaxley and replied, 'I've come to watch the football with Detective Inspector Farcett. We met at the restaurant yesterday'. Morgan snorted. Although proud of his daughter he was surprised that she had taken a job at 'Like Chips In The Night'. If he was honest he would rather that she did nothing than work in a burger bar. It made him laugh when she referred to the place as a 'restaurant'. His snort was followed by a smile. 'Ah, I thought there'd be a man in it somewhere to spark a sudden interest in the round ball game'. He gave Yaxley a bone-crunching handshake. 'Cedric Morgan' he proclaimed, 'And I hope you're looking after my little girl, Farcett. I've heard you're in charge of the Dixon case....getting anywhere ??' Yaxley was taken aback by the man's overwhelming confidence, in light of what he knew of Morgan's dealings. Was he even aware that Reg Dixon and Anne Worthington had uncovered his manipulation of council power in the early eighties ? It was conceivable that Dixon had only confronted Trent with his findings and that he had shielded Morgan from the news of their discovery. Or, he could just have more front than Great Yarmouth. 'Things are moving steadily' replied Yaxley. 'I've got a few leads to work on...I've already had an on-air confession through to a local radio station and I've been the victim of a road accident caused by a possible suspect. However, I would like to speak to you at some point Mr.Morgan as your name did crop up during one of my interviews'. At this comment, Fiona shot a worried glance across at Yaxley. He saw the look and gave a reassuring wave. 'Just a piece of information I think you can clear up for me. Nothing to worry about....Something that happened in the early eighties when you were still a district councillor'. Morgan gave a quizzical grin and boomed, 'Goodness, twenty years ago...I don't know if I'll be able to remember that far back'. He waved a ten-pound pound note at Johnny Swift who was busily refilling pint glasses ready for the second half of the football. 'Johnny ! Please. A pint 'Old Bastard' over here for me and whatever everyone else is having'. The old pints for votes tactic, thought Yaxley before saying 'Cheers Mr.Morgan. Ta very much'.

The prologue - Episode One -  Episode 2 - Episode 3 - Episode 4 -  Episode 5 - Episode 6 - Episode 7 -  Episode 8 -  Episode 9 - Episode 10 - Episode 11- Episode 12 - Episode 13 - Episode 14 - Episode 15 - Episode 16 - Episode 17 - Episode 18 - Episode 19 - Episode 20 - Episode 21 - Episode 22 -  Episode 23 - Episode 24 -  Episode 25 - Episode 26 -  Episode 27 - Episode 28 - Episode 29 - Episode 30 - Episode 31 - Episode 32 - Episode 33 - Episode 34 - Episode 35 - Episode 36 - Episode 37 - Episode 38 - Episode 39 - Episode 40 - Episode 41 - Episode 42 - Episode 43 - Episode 44 - Episode 45 - Episode 46 - Episode 47 -  Episode 48 - Episode 49 - Episode 50 - Episode 51 - Episode 52 - Episode 53 - Episode 54 - Episode 55 - Episode 56 - Episode 57 -  Episode 58 - Episode 59 - Episode 60 - Episode 61 - Episode 62 - Episode 63 - Episode 64 - Episode 65 - Episode 66 - Episode 67 - Episode 68 - Episode 69 -  Episode 70 -  Episode 71 - Episode 72 -  Episode 73 -  Episode 74 -  Episode 75 - Episode 76 -  Episode 77 - Episode 78 - Episode 79 - Episode 80 - Episode 81 - Episode 82 - Episode 84 - Cast List - 'Did you see the wrist watch in Ben Hur' ?- The Colly Continuity Page.

Comments to drove@ely.org.uk

Hugh, exiled fenman from King's Lynn says "Hev you ever thought about running a bus trip to see where "collie" is made like they do for Last Of the Summer Wine, Emmerdale, Corrie and the like. Could be a laugh!!!!!"

Who Dunnit? Your suggestions Please.

Mike Northfield says "Oi reckons that there was one of those there freaky weather thingies that frew that there pitch fork 'ard enough t' stab 'im and cause serious illness such as death thats wot i fink......." - So Mike reckons the freak fen blow caused poor Reg's death.

DG says "I did you this time!!!!!!! Shame I hadn't pushed you harder in 1966!!!!!! Shame Nursy Broadhead saved you?????????????????" - after he sent this message they locked him up again!

MG says "I reckon it were suicide. You see, Reg was quite obviously a bit iron hoof or POOF as we call 'em, and in them there days, well it wer'nt propper wus it?

James Brown says "I suspect a fallen pitchfork from one of the overhead helicopters ferrying a local farmer to the office of KLFM for one of their match reports on a Lynn home game."

World Leader reckons "I think that Monica woman did it. Damn girl never could keep her mouth shut. And she was always letting things drop". Yours World Leader