by Johnny Glover
click here for cast list
Episode 28 - "Still In The Skaters Run" - (May 18th 1998 7.25pm)
Johnny Swift, Landlord of The Skaters Run, was down in the cellar changing a barrel of Hammerhead when he heard the sound of laughter coming down the steps. He lumbered back up into the bar to see the young detective, Yaxley Farcett leaning over the bar looking for him, with a ten pound note in his hand. "Good ta see yur gerrin' in with tha lurcals" he boomed in his almost impenetrable Geordie accent. Nearly twenty years of living in Cambridgeshire had hardly taken the veneer off his native tongue. "What's url the laffin' aboot then ?"
Brian Worthington had been showing Yaxley the pictures that adorned the walls of the pub. Being a keen follower of football he was able to give him a potted history of Swift's career with Newcastle and Cambridge United. There were various shots of Swift in team photos from curly haired adolescence to shiny headed maturity. It was while discussing the photos that the subject of the local football team, Ealham came up. Brian had explained that in the late seventies, members of the club committee had been keen to update their image. One member was a keen follower of the North American Soccer League and fancied a name change. He considered 'Ealham City' to be far too boring. 'They've got the Tampa Bay Rowdies and The New York Cosmos ! Why don't we have a name that sounds exciting and also adds a bit of local flavour ? '. After a heated debate it was agreed that the club would from then on be known as 'Ealham Blow '78'. Unfortunately, after a month, they had received numerous invitations to play friendlies with cub scout packs and youth clubs as they were now known, officially, as 'Ealham Blow Football Cub '78'. At the next meeting they became Ealham City once more.
'Ard hurd aboot that when I came doon sooth' Swift said as his hands hovered over the beer taps. 'Well then ?' he enquired. Yaxley, Brian and Fred Ricketts looked at each other. 'You're buying' said Fred, 'You decide, Yaxley. Although he knew that mixing his drinks would do him no good at all, he pointed to the 'Quangleroot' pump. Having already had a pint each of Threaknecks and Old Bastard he knew his first night in Barnham was destined to be a very beery one.
The three men had just raised their glasses to their lips when the front door burst open and in staggered Jak Jackson with an extremely large loud speaker. 'Evening' he said, 'Where d'you want this thing John ?' Swift pointed to the corner where he had moved the tables and chairs. Jak laboured his way across the room and set the speaker down with a thud on the carpet. 'I'll just nip and get the rest of the gear' he shouted as he made he way back out through the door. Yaxly raised a eyebrow and looked at Swift suspiciously. 'Go on then. A comedian ? A country and western singer ? Brain and Johnny Swift exchanged smiles. 'Oh no Yaxley. Tonight is Friday night and Friday night is Karaoke Night !!'
The prologue - Episode One - Episode 2 - Episode 3 - Episode 4 - Episode 5 - Episode 6 - Episode 7 - Episode 8 - Episode 9 - Episode 10 - Episode 11- Episode 12 - Episode 13 - Episode 14 - Episode 15 - Episode 16 - Episode 17 - Episode 18 - Episode 19 - Episode 20 - Episode 21 - Episode 22 - Episode 23 - Episode 24 - Episode 25 - Episode 26 - Episode 27 - Episode 29 - Cast List - 'Did you see the wrist watch in Ben Hur' ?- The Colly Continuity Page.
Comments to firstname.lastname@example.org
Who Dunnit? Your suggestions Please.
DG says "I did you this time!!!!!!! Shame I hadn't pushed you harder in 1966!!!!!! Shame Nursy Broadhead saved you?????????????????" - after he sent this message they locked him up again!
MG says "I reckon it were suicide. You see, Reg was quite obviously a bit iron hoof or POOF as we call 'em, and in them there days, well it wer'nt propper wus it?
James Brown says "I suspect a fallen pitchfork from one of the overhead helicopters ferrying a local farmer to the office of KLFM for one of their match reports on a Lynn home game."
World Leader reckons "I think that Monica woman did it. Damn girl never could keep her mouth shut. And she was always letting things drop". Yours World Leader