by Reg Dixon
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Episode 26 - "The Skaters Run" - (May 18th 1998 7.00pm)
Yaxley Farcett and Brian Worthington walked into the bar of The Skaters Run. Farcett looked around and liked what he saw; a drinkers pub. No juke box, No one armed bandits, No pool table, No carpet. There were four or five tables dotted around and a couple of men sitting at the bar. Apart from the Fenland memorabilia on the walls; skates, stuffed pheasants and photos of long deceased regulars there were a few pictures of footballers on the walls. To Yaxley, they appeared to be of Newcastle United players. The other team he couldn't make out. Black and Gold shirts ? Behind the bar, slicing lemons with huge hands that were struggling with such a task was fifty five year old Johnny Swift, known to the regulars as 'Wor' Johnny. Swift had been a 'towering centre half' for Newcastle United from the age of nineteen until he was thirty six. He moved to Cambridge United in 1979 and played his last three years as a professional footballer for them. After a few failed attempts to make his living from the game after playing, he had eventually taken the village pub in Barnham and had been there ever since. It was the best decision he had made since hanging up his boots.
Yaxley Farcett ran his eyes along the beer pumps. This was obviously a Landlord who knew his real ales. No fewer than ten pumps were for bitters, only one for lager and the token stout. Most of the ales were familiar to Yaxley: Hammerhead, Threaknecks, Old Bastard, Throbbinsons Gutbuster and his personal favourite 'Quangleroot'. He took a ten pound note from his wallet and turned to Brian. 'A livener Bri ?' Worthington pursed his lips, not wanting to be rushed. A big decision to be made. A Quaffing beer ? A session beer ? A beer of quality ? A beer to savour ?... "Evening Johnny" he said to the Landlord. "This 'ere is Yaxley Farcett, Jack Miller's replacement on the Drainage Squad. First day here and Reg gets killed. Bloody bad timing I reckon". He looked again at the beers and said "It's got to be Threaknecks. This is going to be a good session I reckon. We've got to drink Reg's health tonight, if you know what I mean. It's what he would have wanted". Johnny Swift produced his shovel like hand over the bar and attempted to break Farcett's with it, in an introductory shake. "Same for you lad ?" he asked.
Farcett and Worthington, although not having quite the same sexual tension between them as Mulder and Scully, Dempsey and Makepeace or for that matter Earth, Wind and Fire, were beginning to bond. Beer is the Great Bonder. Better than UHU, Pritt or that floury cak your mum used to mix up in a bowl, beer made friendships between men. This became apparent to Brian as they both drained off half a pint with their first sip. Brian slapped his stomach and exclaimed "Goes down a treat on top of a BruchFest, that does !" Johnny Swift watched the drinkers appreciatively.'Good ta see a well kept pint of Threaknecks smacked back in style' he beamed; "Welcome to Barnham, Yaxley Farcett". Yaxley drained his glass and banged it down on the bar. 'C'Mon Brian. Let's try an 'Old Bastard'. It's Friday and I'm Thursty!"........
The prologue - Episode One - Episode 2 - Episode 3 - Episode 4 - Episode 5 - Episode 6 - Episode 7 - Episode 8 - Episode 9 - Episode 10 - Episode 11- Episode 12 - Episode 13 - Episode 14 - Episode 15 - Episode 16 - Episode 17 - Episode 18 - Episode 19 - Episode 20 - Episode 21 - Episode 22 - Episode 23 - Episode 24 - Episode 25 - Episode 27 - Cast List - 'Did you see the wrist watch in Ben Hur' ?- The Colly Continuity Page.
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Who Dunnit? Your suggestions Please.
DG says "I did you this time!!!!!!! Shame I hadn't pushed you harder in 1966!!!!!! Shame Nursy Broadhead saved you?????????????????" - after he sent this message they locked him up again!
MG says "I reckon it were suicide. You see, Reg was quite obviously a bit iron hoof or POOF as we call 'em, and in them there days, well it wer'nt propper wus it?
James Brown says "I suspect a fallen pitchfork from one of the overhead helicopters ferrying a local farmer to the office of KLFM for one of their match reports on a Lynn home game."
World Leader reckons "I think that Monica woman did it. Damn girl never could keep her mouth shut. And she was always letting things drop". Yours World Leader